on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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