i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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