some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
