this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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