I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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