sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
