Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
