i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
