bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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