Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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