Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
