porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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