New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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