So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
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