Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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