Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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