so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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