i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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