She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize