Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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