i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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