I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
