I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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