When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
