its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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