god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
