He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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