windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize