I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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