I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We just shotgunned beers for America
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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