Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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