I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Randomize
