I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
