can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
