My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
