oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
