We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There was a lot of him and a little penis
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
