no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
