I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
