I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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