His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
