i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Randomize
