porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
