i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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