Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
