the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
