I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
