He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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