Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
