dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
