I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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