help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
