Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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