Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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