I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
