Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
