He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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