what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
