Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
