guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
