Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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