I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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