just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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