sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
