giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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