I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
