I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize