The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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