one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
