$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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