I need help removing her.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I supernannyed him into submission
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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