There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize