did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
