just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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