So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So vagazzling was a success
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
