her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Buhtt sex?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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